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current weekly topic ACTING MY WAY TO SOBRIETY Sunday 7pm topic

David Sunday, 17 February 2019 2:12 pm
Alcoholic blueprint, my best thinking, my best decisions, my best actions, my best feelings, my best emotions, my best abilities, brought me to the doors of AA, changing out lives, changing our feelings, chaning our perspective, changing the nature of how e engage the world and all the folkds in it, at the end of my drinking, it was withdrawing completely from life, step 10 helps me keep cleaned out resentments, the god consciousness they speak about in the program, even after years in the program i can get into the obsessive tracks of thought, sometimes i behave and act very childish, i think like a child, act childish, im overly needly and and selfish like a child, they say AA is a spiritual kindergarden, my alcoholic mind can truly do a number on me, one thing I have learned is that longetivity in AA doesn't equal emotional sobriety in AA, the miracle of this program is that not one of us is exactly the same, and some people go to a meeting a week, a meeting a month, a few meeting's a day
Good morning,  today's daily reflection, Feb 18 is about having my own path, which is something I've never felt on my insides, one thing over my years of sboriety I've lenared don't mix is gratitude and self pity, you'l either be grateful or full of pride and self pity, there is some internal mental block in me to taking responsibility for anything, perhaps becauseI feel so insignificant which is grate in a way because if nothing I do or say means or matters anything, then I don't need to take responsibility for it and I can do whatever I want, of late, I've felt invisible, maybe a push over would be a word for it, Anyways, this morning im grateful for the warm sunshine, I watched the sunrise this morning and enjoyed it, im grateful to have the power to break out of the fear that binds me within, the mental blockes to growth and transformation. 

Chad Sunday, 17 February 2019 8:57 am
Chad, alcoholic.  Grateful to be sober, and that this forum helps me remember:  being restored to sanity may mean being able to see that sobriety comes first in my life.  

When my sobriety has been on the thinnest ice, I believe it has been because of letting other things get too important--like the academic career that I've been craving.  

When I told Mel B about the PhD that I'd gotten at 9 years of sobriety (the same month I met Alan!), he said "that's heavy," and "if I had that, I'd wear it on my shirt!"

Maybe after that, I read in his story in "1000 Years of Sobriety" about him going back to school and getting a BA, and he shared that in his leads, too.

He also said "I don't have a PhD in AA" to me during another phone conversation--when he'd been sober maybe over 65 years! Grateful I don't have one either!

And I believe our conversations helped me share about that good gift of sobriety at my home group; a guy from there told me that he was going back to school, and my sharing about having a PhD helped him see that he could. Wonderful

 



David Friday, 15 February 2019 12:59 am
Good Morning, denial and self pity, not sure why these are so popular, I think in the process of recovery, getting freedom from these two and going toward the path of acceptance leads to acceptance, it maks the day way more enjoyable, reality and adjusting myself to life on lives terms doesn't seem to come easy at times, and then at other time's it seems to be the most obvious thing to do. One thing I have resented all my life is the whole monetary system we are slaves to, reaching out for help isn't easy for me, coming into AA I was pretty mechanical, I had stuffed down all emotion and all feelings for years, ignored my emotions ignored my feelings and drinking seemed to break down those mental barriers I had constructed to hide the pain. I abused alcohol and turned it into a poison, running as passionately as possible from reality. We are called selfish andself centered, but yet we live ina world filled full of people warring and fighting each other over, position, power, money, and control, each one in their own wayt trying to get their way, trying to get what they want, using you if you let them, and throwing you away when they no longer get what they want from you, or you can no longer serve their personal ambitions. 

Growing up, I was conditioned to think that being open, trusting, and sharing were forbidden really, if you ever tried to open up and truly share and express how you felt, you would face severe punishment, but AA's program asked me to do all of the above. I was raised to behave perfectly, if I just behaved perfectly to my mom's judgement she'd love me, but the bar was never reached and it was really a controlling mechanicism which I completely rejected after some years. Even till today, I can get filled with helplessness, guilt and shame, but not of ahealthy kind, but a toxic projected type crap, granting myself permission to feel, to share, the recovery procress for me has been a pyschological healing from years of very toxic garbage of my childhood, I have often asked myself why my father and mother did what they did, but at the time maybe it was all they knew to do. I have always felt this internal void within, that I tried for years to fill with alcohol and no matter how much alcohol I consumed it was never enough,. 

Anyways I nearly drank myself to death, I drank to cope with the pain, AA was a process of breaking habits of thought, habits of drinking, my day when I was drinking, consisted of waking up, and drinking 3 beers, eating some breakfast then going to work, then at lunch drink another three beers during lunch, then after work around 5 start drinking until the wee hours of the night, I felt all alone in the world, althought I had a wife and some kids, I felt like my life was just one big lie, fake and phony and boring as shit, I remember getting drunk mowing my lawn and pondering if this was what life was all about, getting drunk, mowing my lawn, my life just felt so pointless and I felt like I didn't make any difference to anyone. Nothing had any true value to me, the only thing that had value to me were distant fading memories of old lovers, days' on the beach, happiness and bliss that had past. But I was miserable, pure boredom. 

Sometimes I feel like this kid locked up in a adult body, and every morning I have to deal with the rebellious kid within. THe book says we have a spiritual malady, and once the spiritual malady is straightened out we straighten out mentally and emotionally. SPirital Malady  is something I know might keep me sick longer than I should, I came in AA feeling that I had no soul, no spirit, and was cold hearted, and then drinking on top of all that to fix it all, that is the pure insanity. We have to have a vital spiritual experience, most of my life I've felt to be the invisible person, that's enough out of me for today, 

Chad Thursday, 14 February 2019 12:51 pm
Mel B might call it synchronicity that I was reading the story of Mary B, in "1000 Years of Sobriety"--she, like the 19 other alcoholics whose stories are in that book, reached 50 years of sobriety!--for the Long Timer Project, and stumbled on this about Step 2--

"Looking back, I can see that I was an alcoholic from the beginning.  The way I drank was not normal.  Once I had been in AA a short while, I was talking to a lady who said, 'Mary, if you ever question the sanity part of Step Two, I want you to think about how you drank.  It is not normal for someone to drink so much she needs to go to the ladies' room to vomit and then walk right back to the bar to continue drinking.  If every time you ate tuna it made you sick, you wouldn't eat tuna."  


And that's my story.  In maybe 1988, on a family trip to Florida, I ate some yogurt-covered raisins, and then vomited in the car.  Some of it got on my brother's leg, he got mad, and to this day, I don't think I've deliberately eaten a yogurt-covered raisin.  Maybe 2 or 3 years after that, I got drunk on vodka, vomited on the living room carpet so it had to be torn out, my other brother had to try and clean it up and it hadn't worked, and I swore off--then maybe a month later was drinking even through the gag reflex, of my body telling me to stop.  Truly grateful to be restored to sanity today--I don't drink or drug!  The mind David talked about I believe I still have, and Mel B joked at 50+ years of sobriety that he had "ten minutes of emotional sobriety."  It's a miracle when I do experience serenity; maybe it's an even bigger miracle that even when my mind is attacking me, I stay sober, because of our 12 Steps!  
  

alan Thursday, 14 February 2019 12:40 pm
Alan alcoholic.

Actors have methods which they practice in class, in one of those classes they practice being a tree, stretching their whole body and contorting their form to "become" as near as they can to a tree. There's a lot of stuff in acting which can benefit others; as Shakespeare said "life is but a stage, and we the players on it".

The "came to" and "sanity" questions we're considering in our Step Two work might conceivable benefit from using the actor's "tree" method as we modelise them by turning them in our hands and minds. The actions (voluntary or involuntory) are easier to see than the thoughts and are a viable indication of insanity as they led to such negative results. Through admitting this fully and in detail I can move forwards onto better ground, practicing good actions the tools of AA to avoid repeat performances while paving the way to better thinking.

Restraint of pen and tongue is a wonderful tool but, in the heat of the action provided by daily life, my guard may slip and my emotions may try to get the better of me. In my opinion, that's a good moment to become a tree.

David Thursday, 14 February 2019 12:36 am
I tend to want to isolate, in fact when I come to the program I had no clue or idea just how isolated I truly was in life, I had enormous resistance internally to doing anything, I had this defensive posture, learned helplessness, the bleeding deacon syndrome. the perfectionism, I've been going to meetings for 10+ years and even now my mind is working me over, my mind can play games with me, play tricks, and keep me stuck, and how closed minded I was, this is the insanity for me, the close mindedness and stubborness and denial the self pity, one step forward and ten steps back, the truth is, i came to AA because I had no where else to go, besides going to a jail cell, going to the nut house, going to the hospital, but for me really it had nothing to do with location or geography, it was my location in my mind, heart body and spirit, i was spiritually dead coming in the program, I felt like my body was void of a soul when I come to AA, unmanageable come into play when I become aware of how devoted I had become to the belief I could control people places and things and that was my life purpose, the little cliche, live and let live, had not taken hold of my mind, but it brings alot of relief and ease if we adapt it, it relieves me of being responsible for what other people say, hear, think or do, all of that is someone else's problem, now I can focus on what I am responsible for, which is what I say, think, want or do, it helps me realize i can stop feeling sorry for myself at any time, I can stop being angry anytime i want, i can stop overthinking everything anytime im ready, i can look for where i can be of help to someone else, instead of looking for what i can get from every situation i find myself, I can begin becoming a participant in my own life anytime i want, instead of playing the victim. Talking to my higherpower is something I do everyday, God, God first, Other's Second, David last, one thing I've deal with al my life is low self esteem, or zero self esteem the over whelming feelings of complete and utter worthlessness and feeling invisible and feeling ignored, and feeling that i dont have a right to be here. Finding something in life that will inspire me, finding something in life to wake up and look forward to in life, it really feels like a roller coaster at times. Being mechanical and being void of emotions, immitating dysfunctional parental behaviors, the steps, reveal faulty programming from when I was a kid, step 2 really helped me realize that I'd been raised by two extremely insane people, and that being subjected to that certainly had played a role in how I had developed and grown, and then the process of erasing alot of that toxic and self defeating behavior sna dstarting a fresh and new. Today, I'm dealing with cocktail mixtire of doubt, fear, numbness, denial, self pity, boredom, loneliness,  and focusing on the negative ratehr than looking to the positive side of things. 

Chad Wednesday, 13 February 2019 12:51 pm
Chad, alcoholic.  Grateful to be sober, and for the helpful shares.  It's especially helpful since I have not been able to start taking part in the Big Book study I was hoping and planning to do, maybe because the God of my understanding has another move in my near future, and I need to keep working the Steps, will for the rest of my life, one day at a time.  I fear that I'm self-sabotaging and am doomed to do that no matter what from here on out (my fears have these rocky apocalyptic roots so much of the time), but I get to keep on praying the fear prayer and sharing with others about where I'm at, including here.  

It just hit me that Step 2 offers me the same relief as Step 1--when I found out that I'm powerless over alcohol on my own, it took off a horrible weight of guilt for the things I did when drinking; finding out that I am insane on my own, I get maybe that same, deep relief.  I simply have a disease, like millions or even billions of other alcoholics throughout world history, and the inability to snap out of it is part of it.  

alan Wednesday, 13 February 2019 11:23 am
Hi all, Alan, alcoholic.

I came to AA as a last resort, nothing else had worked.

Came to believe that a power greater than myself (in other words a power that's not me)

COULD RESTORE ME TO SANITY 

It's difficult to admit to insanity but actually quite interesting as the insanity seems double edged to me:
1. The insanity of my own denial stubbornly refusing to admit to the obvious - that I was powerless over alcohol. This was manifest when, after 1000 unsuccessful attempts, I would still swear that "this time" would be different although the result was always the same.
2. The more complex forms my insanity took; many of these forms took me years to recognise.

One area for example was that of my emotions regarding any kind of sentimental attachment or relationship. My views of myself and others of the opposite sex were completely faulty, the result of warped thinking which continued it's knarled growth over time like the convoluted roots of some wierd tree.

Another obvious example was the suicidal financial mismanagement which kept me borderline for all of my drinking life.
Then again, there were the crazy risks I took of all kinds, catastrophy only averted by a loving God who (today I can clearly see) was looking out for me.
Waste of golden opportunities was another manifestation. In spite of some talents being given to me many of my circle could not understand my unthinking abuse of them.

The list can go on... and it makes me hark back to step One, the list of unmanagebility where some hindsight additions suddenly seem approriate...

I look forward to reading your own instances which will surely remind me of my own forgotten failings.

alan Sunday, 10 February 2019 9:31 am
Alan alcoholic.

Thanks for your shares, I know they help you and they certainly help me.

The one thing I know I can change is my effort at working the AA program - I can always do it better. At the same time, for many issues which baffle me, I can do nothing when inaction seems better than the bad idea I was about to activate. In this way I keep the energy and focus where it'll tend to help rather than hinder my sobriety as well as that of others.
I've noticed that recovery is a tendency so I need to be patient , If I try to control too much I destroy good tendencies, which are naturally created through keeping it simple and working the steps, and begin the old cycle of creating havoc.

In all my endeavors I have doscovered that expectations, those pre - potted images of what I consider ideal, to be a hinderance and a handicap. If I try to run my life based on unreasonable expectations and irrealisable desires, then chaos is sure to ensue. It's logical that the bad plans work just as well as the good and that's why, as Tom says, we try to replace bad habits/routines with good.

Much of my misunderstanding came, and still comes, from my own obstination in maintaing that I had carried out such and such action but the result I'd expected was not there and so I complain and play the aggrieved victim. What has actually happened is that I did not read the user manual and then swore blind that I'd carried out the prescribed action.
Our AA manual is a near perfect method to achieve sobriety and, as stated in How It Works, "rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path".

My ego is the stumbling block on the path to an unconditionally loving state I so crave but there's an advantage if I want to keep it simple: I don't have to look far for the culprit.

Tom S Sunday, 10 February 2019 3:45 am
Good morning! 

Morning is a great time for reflection and teasing out thoughts. I thank you all for being here and "listening". I have three areas I'd like to discuss. 

  1. Unmanageability coming into the program
  2. My misunderstanding of the idea
  3. Creating a manageable life is (for me) making rituals (substitution)
Unmanageability coming into the program
When I came into AA, it was clear that my life was unmanageable and had been for a very long time. The roots of that unmanageability were very deep, but the clearest manifestation was in waking up in my own urine and not having any problem living (or dying) without heat when it was -20C outside. 

I was only getting off the sofa to stumble to the store to get booze, had lost my glasses, and hadn't eaten for 10 days. Even before that, I had layers of unpaid bills, unanswered phone calls, and unfinished tasks. Making excuses was my biggest effort. 
So, accepting unmanageability wasn't really much of a stretch.

My misunderstanding of the idea
But, even with that I didn't really fully grasp the idea. Having become unmanageable doesn't mean that life couldn't be managed if I were sober and had the tools. The first tool was and is the simplest AA slogan of ODAT. Not trying to take huge bites meant that I can keep in the now and just do the next right thing. Deciding what the next right thing is is problematic sometimes, but most of the time if I just look inward and think about what I least want to do, I know.

Just this morning, I really didn't want to do some documentation for a big publication I am partially responsible and that resistance told me that, probably, it is the thing I needed to do - and so I did. 

By way of contrast - choosing to drink on any given day was never a difficult choice so maybe it is something to give some thought to. 

To finish this - having had an unmanageable life doesn't preclude the idea of having an understandable and structured (manageable) life. 

Which brings me to the final point:

Creating a manageable life is (for me) making rituals (substitution)
One key concept that I have grabbed onto is that I can't just drop one habit without substituting one in its place. 

I stopped drinking today, and have to read, so to a meeting, or write or do something instead. I can also add meditation to the mix. 

I realize that I am a person of rituals.... get into bed with a bottle, watch videos, and then pass out. I need to do something else. So, out of bed, grab a book, go to a meeting, write or do something else. 


Thanks to all of you for being here and part of this journey!

David Sunday, 10 February 2019 2:13 am
Good Morning,the unmanageability for me I think of the things I try to manage, which is people places and things, you know when people want do what I want, when people want see things my way, when people want act like I want, when people want think the way I want them to think, unmanageability, for me I think of personal power, I give over all my personal power through my resentments with other people, for me it's about being focused on what I can change and ignoring what I cannot change, which is completely contrary to my disease, which is focus all my attention upon people and places and things which I have absolutely no control over and completely ignore my behavior, or my attitude or my perspective or my actions, never mind those matters, it's a mixture of alcoholic insanity and denial and self pity, a toxic cocktail of misery and self hatred and anger. 

David Friday, 8 February 2019 11:12 pm
Good Morning all, 

Definitely believe in a power greater than myself restoring me to sanity, I sure would be around anymore if it wasn't for the higher power, glad to go back through these steps, when it comes to sanity im not sure I've ever been that sain in life, Utter Boredom seems to be a big issue for me lately, im grateful though for what little sanity I have been given through this program and ask my Higher Power for more sanity for the days ahead.



Chad 07 02 2019 2:04 pm (sent from my mobile)
Chad, alcoholic.  Grateful to be sober, and thanks for the helpful shares, including the link.  Maybe it was insane for me to even start drinking, in my teens--my great grandfather died of alcoholism, both my oldest brothers already showed signs of it, and I showed signs of related mental illness.  And I had an insane reaction to alcohol from the start.  The only sane relationship I can have to it is staying away from it like any other poison, and I tried swearing off, but could never make that last.  It took, takes, and always will take a Power greater than myself.  Grateful for the miracle of sanity!  

alan Thursday, 7 February 2019 11:53 am
Alan alcoholic.

Thanks Tom for the link to the excellent video which I have watched and you can see my notes below. The 00:00 refer to times in the video.

0:00 STEP 1.

TRUTH (surrender)


1. You can RECOVER from the effects, the wreckage, the behaviour, the symptoms of alcoholism but the disease is incurable and will always remain, even getting worse while we don't drink. So Recover, yes, cure, no.


2. Diabetes is probably a better allergy than peanuts to take as an example. Many people become diabetic as THE result of diatary dysfunction, excessive sugar consumption included. We may have a genetic tendency towards alcoholism but we aggravate the tendency by consuming the very substance which makes us ill, as alcoholics know booze makes them sick but drink it anyway.


3. Our allergy is accompanied by a second psychological element; the desire to get out of my head, to be someone else - a mood changer.


4. 19:06 >  21:00   I alone had a unique affliction, and that this could not be fixed. Then discovered alcohol which worked for a time then began to be more and more problematic until the nightmare began.


33:00 STEP 2.

HOPE (willingness, admission)


1. We came to AA because our powerlessness over alcohol, our drinking, led to our lives becoming unmanageable. As we were (and still are) powerless over alcohol, the only solution was to stop drinking.


2. Any power other than myself will be a progress.


3. The recognition of our insanity is important and can be examined through examples; one of these is that we tried a thousand or more times to stop drinking yet still believed that "tomorrow" or "next time" we could. This, and other, beliefs we falsely held kept us drinking. We simply had to believe in something else, something other than ourselves.


43:18 > 54:00 STEP 3.

FAITH (declaration)


1. The making of the decision is the key. In this it helps to keep it simple.


2. Thy will be done not mine, may I do thy will not mine.


3. Third step declaration page 63:

God, I offer myself to Thee - To build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt.
Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will.
Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life.
May I do Thy will always!

4. As said in the video, the step only need take a few seconds per day!.

**************************************************************


"An ounce of practice is worth a ton of theory."


Practicing any form of unconditional love during our day will lead us to feeling whole as we never felt before.

Tom S Thursday, 7 February 2019 6:44 am
A really good video/talk about Steps 1,2,3

alan Wednesday, 6 February 2019 8:12 pm
Correction: Zoom Step meeting is Friday at 7pm Paris not 1pm as in my previous share.

alan Wednesday, 6 February 2019 9:39 am
Alan alcoholic.
Unmanageability brought me to the low point where I came to AA, powermessness was the cause and I was only able to treat this on a daily basis by surrendering and just not drinking.

When I was no longer consuming the root cause of my demise, having admitted my powerlessness, I was able to come to AA and come to believe.

If only I could keep it simple I'd have a much better chance of success and I was taught to take the wool out of my eyes and ears and just observe and listen. It was surprising, and still is, what I came to believe and to learn and I'm ever growing and grateful to have opened my eyes and ears in this way.

For those who are able, we can discuss this at our Zoom meeting Friday 8/2 at 7pm Paris time. Calendar is here http://www.aaonlineen.fr/html/AAMembersShare.php#cal


Tom S Monday, 4 February 2019 11:08 am
Hello all!
Tom alcoholic.
Thanks for the update. 
Last evening's meeting was great and left me with lots to consider. 

It is quite snowy here in Riga this morning and that made the public transport authorities decide to allow what we call "snow tickets" for public transport. For kind of convoluted reasons, I didn't have any rides on my e-ticket, so this was a godsend. This is probably good because I would otherwise have stayed home and most likely not have accomplished as much as I have with even half of my day. All leads to a good general feeling. 

BTW- for me the link to the calendar only works if I copy/paste it. Doesn't seem to work as a regular link.

Have a great rest of the day.

alan Monday, 4 February 2019 9:14 am
Hi all, Alan alcoholic

The Zoom meeting will be held at https://zoom.us/j/6907802229 on coming Friday, 8 Feb at 7pm Paris time. You can log in from 6:45pm. (this replaces the previous scheduled meeting on Thursday 7)

Last night's group conscience decided that the Zoom meeting for STEP GROUP will be at 7pm (Paris) the second and fourth fridays of each month. You can consult our Google calenday of meetings here: http://www.aaonlineen.fr/html/AAMembersShare.php#cal

On Friday, for those who missed the last meeting, we will begin by going over the UNMANAGEABILITY aspect of Step One.

Then we will consider the "Came to" as in "Came to believe" in Step Two.

Killing two birds with one stone, as the saying goes, we may find that there's a distinct link between the "unmanageablity" and the "came to". Honest self searching on this point may help clear up some nagging doubts or background denial.

Chad Monday, 4 February 2019 6:25 am
Chad, alcoholic.  Grateful to be a sober alcoholic, and thanks for the topic and shares.  That connection between unmanageability and coming to believe helps me.  Maybe many times since this gift of sobriety arrived in my life, I have gottten overwhelmed by something, been blessed with a surrender inside, then been brought into the right answer.  

That definitely happened with my dying of this disease and then getting sober in 2001.  Maybe most of that year was a brutal, maybe-suicidal drive to manage; then I came to one day with a sense that the need to drink had been lifted out of my life, and shortly after that came my friend Jason R telling me to stop the drugging too.  And suddenly, sobriety!  

Maybe Bill W's experience followed that pattern, too--he went into Towns Hospital in a horrifically dark place, prayed a prayer of desperation, and had his spiritual experience, his "hot flash" he would come to call it, if I remember right.  And stayed sober for the rest of his life.  

Mel B wrote, at maybe 59 years sober (he passed 66 before he passed!), that he realized something had removed the compulsion to drink.  

In my life, it's that same Power that brought me across the ocean to France for that great meeting in Alan's garage, in 2011!  Grateful 

Tom S Sunday, 3 February 2019 8:56 am
Tom alcoholic
Thanks for this. 

I look forward to listening and learning.

alan Sunday, 3 February 2019 8:30 am
Alan alcoholic.

This month we will be working STEP TWO

I suggest we work three aspects separately:


1 Came to believe 2 A power greater than myself 3 Could restore me to sanity.
Beginning with (1) it might be helpful to consider my coming to AA from a general point of view. Personally, I can identify the unmagageability of my life as the biggest reason I came to AA, I was at rock bottom and had to choose between life (recovery) and death (continue) and I chose the former. In no way did I come to AA as some masterstroke of my own making; no, the miracle was that the hand of AA was there when I needed it.

I've kept the topic to unmanageability that we may make the link between that situation and our coming to AA. For those who missed the Zoom meeting on unmanageability I'll be online Thursday 6:45pm for a meeting at 7pm Paris time. You can join this step meeting at https://zoom.us/j/6907802229 , that way you can catch up!




David Saturday, 2 February 2019 4:12 pm
unmanageability perfectionism, rationalization, over thinking,its much easier to try to control oneself than try to control everyone on the outside, its a inside job as I've heard so many times in the rooms. self will run right, over thinking, being stuck, rigid frames of mind, and lies, lies that lead down the path of self delusion. The laws of nature and the principles of nature are constant and unchanging through time and each one of us are subjected to these principles or laws, I thin for this alcoholic the delusion or belief that I can somehow be free of these, the given's of life, there are certain things that are given to us through the law of attraction, we naturally attract certain things into our lives, human thinking or human doing is not the same as human being, I was completely insane when I discovered AA and can still get frozen or stuck in insane frames of mind, frozen in irrational fears, there's certainly been a power much greater than me guarding me from my own stupidity and foolishness and guiding my path, one thing the program helped me begin the journeyinto, was self reflection, actually looking at my own thoughts, my own feelings my own behaviors, and not on anyone else, an amazing transformation happend through this process, time for bed now

Chad 30 01 2019 10:51 pm (sent from my mobile)
Chad, alcoholic.  Grateful to be here, and thanks for the helpful topic and shares.  Tomorrow, I have an appointment to look at an apartment in the St. Louis area. It's maybe a mile or less from my real home--the AA Central Office facility with a lot of meetings--and a block from where I "grew up", the house where my active alcoholism started in 91 and this divine gift of sobriety started in 01.

However it turns out (my sponsor told me nobody knows what's in the future), grateful for the Godincidence/"synchronicity" (Mel B) of that happening! Hope to see you soon on Zoom 👍

alan Thursday, 24 January 2019 9:14 am
Alan alcoholic.

FROM NEGATIVE INTERFERANCE TO PRACTICAL PARTICIPATION

Today at 1pm Paris time we'll be meeting on Zoom at https://zoom.us/j/6907802229
Topic is part two of Step One My life had become unmanageable. For those who missed out there follows a short summary:


It seems clear to me, from again reading the first step, that the defining part 1 action of the step, and my whole recovery, is the admission of defeat and thereby powerlessness. It's stated that without this there can be no lasting recovery. Thos who argued were told by the oldtimers to go out and experiment some more if they felt that way. This brought dividends and it's why a good strategy with beginners is "As long as you're willing to stop drinking I'll do anything I can to help, as long as you're not there's nothing I can do".

When it comes to the second part, "My life had become unmanageable" It was tricky and it still is. I've found it helpful to assess individual cases such as the workplace where I may be at imminent risk of being fired. However I find that there's not so much I can actually DO about the UNMANAGEABILITY and that I am far better concentrating, through working the steps, on taking corrective action regarding my charcter defects and bad behaviour. These are what caused the situations I'm in and that's where I need to concentrate.

The recovery of hitherto unmanaggeable situations will happen, where possible and  as it's meant to be. Much of the unmanagebility will seem to disappear of it's own accord. Without my negative interfering God is doing for me what I could not do for myself and, if I listen, He will even show me where I can help!

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