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alan 25 March 7:43 am
Alan alcoholic.

Thanks Chad for your shares. I'm posting this for everyone:

AA Thought for the Day

March 25, 2020

Moment of Stress
If at these points our emotional disturbance happens to be great, we will
more surely keep our balance, provided we remember, and repeat to
ourselves, a particular prayer or phrase that has appealed to us in our
reading or meditation. Just saying it over and over will often enable us to
clear a channel choked up with anger, fear, frustration, or misunderstanding,
and permit us to return to the surest help of all—our search for God's will,
not our own, in the moment of stress.

- Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, (Step Eleven) pp. 102 -

There will be a Zoom Step meeting Friday at 7pm Paris time at:

Chad 17 March 9:10 pm
Chad, alcoholic.  Thanks, Alan, for that helpful share.  I can definitely relate.  Maybe some of the best blessings of my life have happened in the last several months in my relationships with other people; I've also found new levels of inner resistance to that same progress, and it helps me to be reminded that the problem, ego, is not mine alone but shared by many, if not all, other sober alcoholics.  Today, when warnings about coronavirus are stressing keeping distance from others, and of course my fear says that I'm doomed and other lies, I'm grateful for the reminder that I'm not alone! 

alan 11 March 7:39 am
Alan Alcoholic
Hi all and thanks Chad for your share.
I find that I need to work on the decision end and this is true daily for the whole of my program. The question of resolve always comes back to that daily reprieve and highlights that enemy - my ego wanting to "decide and control".
For ther is much warped thinking to be worked on and the delusion that I can do things my way persists and requires vigilence. So the ha,ding over to God is a great proceedure; great relief always comes to me when I pray and say "Thy will be done, not mine".
This Friday's step meeting on Zoom is at from 6:45pm Paris time meeting start at 7pm.
See you theree to discuss the question of will!

Chad 11 March 2:49 am
Chad, alcoholic.  Grateful to be sober and to be able to share here after a while away from it.  In my apartment, I don't have internet access these days, and am fortunate to be able to walk over here to the local library to use a computer, and also that wifi works for my phone in the Central Services facility right by my apartment where I've been coming to almost all of my meetings for the last half year or so. 
It's really helping me to revisit or rework Step 3 this month, and it came to me recently, maybe not for the first time, that I haven't been turning over  my close personal relationships to my Higher Power; instead, I have tended to reach a certain level of closeness with others and then in some way back away.  Learning more about my childhood and later traumas has helped me to see why I've tended to do that, and to not get so caught up in shame about it, for which I'm very grateful. 
Maybe one way my God/HP has been helping me with intimacy:  I have tended to see a lot of the same faces more than once a week at meetings I've been coming to.  Currently, I don't have an official sponsor, and I hope to soon, but one long timer who's a co-regular at a lot of meetings said I could text him every day, we talked before the meeting tonight, and he gave me a hug afterward.  Grateful. 

alan 14 February 6:49 pm
Step Meeting Tonight 7pm Paris time at

alan 13 February 11:40 am
Alan alcoholic, thanks Chad for your service.
For me the "coming to believe" has been a progress over time and that still continues today. As I open up to ideas and explore new philosophical and theological sources new energy seems to flow into me. The process is by no means linear but setbacks have always led to progress. A recent black spot at over 22 years sober has led to an ever more consolidated faith and that faith has taken more tangible forms.
To try and explain through one example, my attitude towards my person and caring for myself has been substantially improved recently by the realisation of my own worth; that I am not worthless in God's eyes and that,  in fact, my very failings are what opens me to feeling His bounless love and entering into His grace. This coming to believe has not been a cause of subseriance but an empowerment; that of a power greater than myself.
Believing that I am powerless over alcohol in Step One was just the beginning of a long and wonderful liberating process towrds true freedom with true benefits.

Chad 13 February 3:59 am
Chad, alcoholic.  Thanks, Alan, for setting the topic and the helpful share; I apologize for not getting to this earlier, my wonderful friend.  If it's all right, I'll leave this very helpful topic up for a little while to come.  It's especially helpful for me since I don't feel full of belief at the moment, and I get reminded that "Came to believe" doesn't have to happen all at once.  If I come to a turn in the road, I approach it before I get there.  So if I'm running low on belief, I'm not doomed (like my head/disease tends to tell me).  Thank God. 

My friend and, if I may, hero Jay C, who passed 50 years of sobriety a little while back, told me that it was at a Step 2 meeting, early in his sobriety, where he had a sense that something was keeping all of them sober.  And he's had happy sobriety since then.  Grateful for great examples like his, and yours!  

alan 5 February 12:08 pm
Alan alcoholic.
Thanks to Chad for stepping up and offering to chair our online page this month.
I set the weekly topic to Came To Believe.

When I came to AA I had no idea of all the things which would come to pass along the way. The coming to believe in a power greater than myself has been a long gradual process which still continues and will continue to do so.
There will be a Step meeting Friday 8/02  on Zoom (2nd + 4th fridays of each month) at our usual link:

Chad 01 02 2020 12:19 am (sent from my mobile)
Chad, alcoholic.   Grateful to be sober, and for the topic of give it away to keep it.  Just now, I got to answer an email for the Steppers 12th Step email service! 

Chad 28 01 2020 1:11 am (sent from my mobile)
Chad, alcoholic.   Grateful to be sober, and that unmanageability got brought up.  My life sure is!  Grateful that's okay because I'm sober today 

alan 22 January 2:57 pm
Hi all, Alan alcoholic.

This coming Friday at 7pm Paris time we have our bi-monthly step meeting. We are on Step one Admitted we were powerless overalcohol, that our liveshad been unmanageable.

At the last meeting the topic was our powerlessness and this week we'll look at life's unmanageability. When we drank that obviously caused unmanageability but in later in sobriety what happens?

The meeting link is:

alan 12 January 1:49 pm
Hi all, Alan powerless alcoholic.
Thats really great from Mark about sharing here on our website, it gets circulated to email list and gets read far more than one might imagine...

It strikes me that the first step is just as interesting to an old-timer as it is to a newcomer. One reason may be that it can never be forgotten that I'm a powerless alcoholic and the constant awareness is like a train to wich the newcomer can hitch for guidance and inspiration. It's remarkable how many old-timers one will see in any beginners meeting, it simply seems to be our favorite place and it's probably where we can best carry the message whilst learning ourselves.

That admission of powerlessness is never a "done deal" so, proceeding with humility, we can daily renew our recovery and carry an authentic and believable message to those who suffer in the hope that they will hitch their wagon and join us on the track to freedom.

Markb 12 01 2020 10:31 am (sent from my mobile)
Morning all, with my New Years resolution time share more in text in this website and being in January (Step1), I thought the following quote sot for today. The Great Obsession .... Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death - Alcoholics Anonymous, (More About Alcoholism) p. 30. Thought to Ponder - Within our wonderful new world, we have found freedom from our fatal obsession. Yours in fellowship. Mark.

Markb 11 01 2020 12:37 pm (sent from my mobile)
Morning all, Mark alcoholic. Great Step 1 Meeting last night. Thanks to Alan for chairing. It’s good to be reminded of our three fold illness. Mind (Obsession to drink), body (physical craving once taken) and Soul (spiritual malady) which untreated leaves us in depths of addiction. Denial kept me shackled for many years, as although I’d admitted and accepted my alcoholism, I’d not fully surrendered. And if I do not maintain my recovery on a daily basis (through this wonderful programme, walking the happy path of recovery with my fellow AA’s), I will not maintain my daily reprieve from this chronic illness. Just very grateful to share my recovery with this fellowship. Mark

alan 11 January 10:26 am
Alan alcoholic.
Last night's step meeting was an amazing demonstration of how three
suffering alcoholics can bring comfort to each other through "giving it away to keep it".

The role of writing it down was mentioned and I've also found that this has worked well for me. However short or cryptic, the sheer fact of externelising a problem
or a question seems to bring comfort and guidance. If it's there for others to read then even more so.

Part of the powerlessness may, I think, come from keeping he bad stuff to myself and last night I felt relief from simply admitting to fellow alcoholics that I am going through intense suffering. Through doi,g this my admissio, of powerlessness has been reinforced rather than tested. Ho,estly asking for help, both from Gos and from other human beings is one of the most profound and beautiful actions we practice in the AA program.

We are currently on step One and the next Zoom meeting will be Friday 24 Jan.
The meeting link is:

Chad 10 01 2020 12:16 am (sent from my mobile)
Chad, alcoholic.  Grateful to be sober, and grateful to be in the month of Step 1, since this is the Step that the 12 and 12 says I need to do 100%.  My mind/disease will tell me i can't do that, it's hopeless, etc., but my sponsor Dave P helped me see that if i really need something, i can pray for it.  So i get to pray "please help me take Step 1 100%."  Grateful 

alan 27 December 8:57 am
Alan alcoholic.

Thanks to Chad for chairing this meeting, I wonder whether he'd lije to continue into Januart or whether there are any other takers; it's ideak when service rotates but there are so few of us...

It's the end of the year and a good time to take stock. We are also on Step 12 and the words "PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION" come to mind. At times, when I vainly try to cast around for confirmation of my own ideas, this phrase comes back to me with it's humbling influence. It's not so bad to be imperfect, f justification kicks in it's just one more attempt to fit a square peg into a round hole.

I'm grateful for all that AA has brought me over time and for your part in my recovery, your presence over the past year. I'm looking forward to what I can learn regarding Step Twelve at:
tonight's meeting on Zoom at 7pm Paris time.
The link is as ever

The online meeting is held on 2nd and 4th Fridays of each month and January a new cycle will begin with Step One. As long as AA and you are there I am optimistic for my own spiritual progress in the coming year and would like to continue sharing that with you.

Chad 23 12 2019 5:15 am (sent from my mobile)
Chad, alcoholic.  Grateful to be sober, and thanks, Alan, for your helpful share.  It helped the topic "Giving it away to keep it" come to me.  If I remember right, that's in the story "The Professor and the Paradox" that was in an earlier version of the Big Book.  And I believe it's how I first learned that I have something to offer--that my being on the planet adds something positive.  That was not a reality for me before sobriety.  Tonight, I was especially blessed at the7pm meeting, because my new sponsee called beforehand so I got to work with him, then afterward I got to work with a guy there sober maybe 4 months.  Another guy I talked to turned out to be still drunk, so probably nothing stuck, but I get to be grateful not to be dying of this illness like he was/is.  It all reminds me of what my friend and hero Bev D, who turned 62 years sober December14!, told me once:  "I stay sober talking to you."  

alan 19 December 4:58 pm
Alan alcoholic.
Thanks Chad, both fpr your service to this online group and for your shares. This one on ESH is always interesting to ponder, almost as if I witness the three tricking streams of my spiritual perogress.
There's no dount that "giving it away to keep it" works, against so many modern axims in our somewhat britalized world.

The twefth step is the epitomy of recovery where "having had a spiritual awakening as THE result of these steps" I'm able to transmit the message, with confidence that it works, as well as to receive it more clearly than in the past.

To me this two way stream of recovery is important as it's my insuraance against backsliding into old thinking and a way of ensuring the continuation of healthy spiritual progress.

Ever grateful to this program wor what I take as well as for the opportunity to put back.

Chad 15 12 2019 2:20 am (sent from my mobile)
Chad, alcoholic.  Grateful to be sober, and to get to do service work and share in this forum.  The topic that came to me just now is "Sharing experience, strength and hope," because it helps me to be reminded how much it helps me to share all three, and to have them shared with me.  Talking to my friend, hero and possibly sponsor Mel B, I got experience--I heard how he had drank just like I did, just as alcoholically.  And I got strength--a sense of community or fellowship, "we're in this together and it's working."  And I got hope--he shared about having been sober over 60 years, showing me that this can work for the rest of my life (thank God, because the alternative is unbelievably hellish), one day at a time.  And maybe it's the same as what I've gotten to hear in AA talks, and share when I've gotten to speak and in other situations, including withmy new sponsee recently:  what I was like (dying of alcoholism), what happened (the 12 Steps of AA), and what I'm like now (living a very good sober life!).

Chad 13 12 2019 5:02 am (sent from my mobile)
Chad, alcoholic.  Grateful to be sober, and that the program keeping me sober gives me principles to live by in every area of my life.  My friend, hero and possibly unofficial sponsor Mel B (who reached 66 years of sobriety before he passed!) welcomed me into his and his wife's house in Toledo, where I experienced lovely hospitality, even though they had never met me in person before, on the first visit.  That might be the principle of open-mindedness at work.  And for me the word "home" has come to mean any AA meeting, where I hope to keep coming and practicing our principles for the rest of myl wonderfully sober life, one day at a time!

alan 4 December 9:09 pm
Hi, Alan alcoholic.
Thanks Chad, for service for sharing and for the topic.

Having hada spiritual awakening I have certainly tried to carry the message with varying results which is as to be expected. Perfectionism does not sit well with carrying our message, I have suffered much through my failures. There have been those who were seemingly beyond help...who have literally died on me.

Each time I feel my recovery has stagnated I've hung on, exercised patience and tried to do the right thing which is usually more step work, better listening, sponsorship both of others and for myself. I've had a spiritual awakening at each turn, contingent on the effort I put in, and have risen from the ashes to reach a higher level of spiritual awareness and my primary purpose remains to pass the message to other alcoholics - for better and for worse.

The problems along the way are not what it's abouty, even when the disease takes a suffering alcoholic away from us in spite of our efforts. It's about the answers wqe can find through the program giving us the will, the knowledge and the tools to forge a new way for ourselves. As long as we continue on all humility to do that we will be allright and may be able to pass that on, not always to good effect but knowing that sometimes is our best.

Chad 04 12 2019 2:21 am (sent from my mobile)
Chad, alcoholic.  Grateful to be sober, and to be able to share here.  Currently, I don't have the ability to call or send text messages, am behind on bills, don't know if the customer for my car will actually come through on Thursday, don't have any food in the apartment, am way behind in classes I need to finish if I'm going to take new classes next semester, am not sure what to do about the drug problem in this apartment building I'm staying in, and have been feeling overwhelmed and eaten up with fear about all that plus the holiday season plus just having moved to a new city about 4 months ago.  Yesterday, I got just what I needed at a meeting:  not money or other "solutions" my mind has been obsessing about, but a chance tdo so 12th Step work with Drew, who was there for his first meeting, saying his drinking was getting out of control again and he needed to do something about it.  He seemed to be in way more trouble than he could talk about--and that's how I felt!  So I could share with him about sponsorship, pages 86-88 in the Big Book, a time when I was dying of alcoholism in Springfield Missouri where he said he was from, and more.  Later, I got help  through Step 10 letting my fears go.  Grateful  

Chad 02 12 2019 11:50 pm (sent from my mobile)
Chad, alcoholic.  Grateful to be sober, and thank you, Alan, for ths question about the prayer.  Maybe it's Godincidence that my sponsor, during my5thStep, gave me a prayer that asks for help being myself. 

It helps me to share today's topic today, since last week I got a sponsee but then my phone got cut off.  My mind/disease/ego says "he tried to call when his sobriety was in danger, you didn't answer, it's your fault that he's died and killed others and doomedhothers' futures too, you need to stop trying to work with new people,," and other nasty lies like that. 

Grateful that I got to work with him right when I needed it!   

alan 28 November 7:29 am
Alan alcoholic.
Maybe low self worth can be addressed through prayer? As I'm in Step Eleven, one thing comes out for me: that low self worth, for whatever reason, has been a big part opf my problem although I've refused to admit that, saying that it applied to others and not me.
Mixed with the work I've just done on Steps Four and Five coupled with the Step Eleven process, I seem to have got up a notch in the honesty stakes and I'm grateful for that. I'm able to better see a balance between what I can and cannot change and the question of low self worth seems suddenly important. I know it's a recurring theme with practically every alcoholic I've listened to over the years; to a greater or lesser degree of course.
I'm just wondering if anybody can suggest a helpful prayer with low self image/worth in mind?

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